Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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