Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
