I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
