Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She's like a pop up book from hell.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
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We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
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It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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