Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My breasts were aching with rage.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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