Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
