I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
