tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
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