So drunk its hurt
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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