some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
