well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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