i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
