He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I need a beard to bite.
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