he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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