This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
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