i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
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No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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