I have demons in me.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
