i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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