Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
