You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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