Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
