are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
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