East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
