Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
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That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
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How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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