I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
