The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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