so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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