Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
