Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just high enough for therapy.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
