They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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