I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
