Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
