im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
