Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
