I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I pour the whiskey from now on
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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