I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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