to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
