What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
