Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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