New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
