I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
