I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
