Im at strip club and am horny
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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