Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
