we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
