ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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