dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
