I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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