I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
