I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
