I hate all girls vehemently.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
