6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
