so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize