based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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