i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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