They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
