but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
