how can u be prego again
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
